The UTTI Scope, 1966-12-01

              urrnii fir ( II Vol. IV No. 3 Official Student Newspaper December 1966 OH I JUST GO NUTS AT CHRISTMAS Oh I just go nuts at Christmas, on that jolly holiday, I'll go in the red like a knuckle head cause I've squandered all my pay. Oh I just go nuts at Chris tmas , shopp ing sure drive me beserk. On the day before I rush in the store like a poor bewelered jerk. I look at night gowns for my wife, at black ones trimed in red. But I don't know her size and so she'll get a carpet sweeper instead. Oh I just go nuts at Christmas when each kid hangs up his sock. It's a time for kids to flip their lids while their pa-pa goes in hock. On the night before Christmas it's still in the house, my family is sleeping so I'm quiet like a mouse. I look at my watch and see midnight is near; I think I'll sneak out for a cold glas of beer. Down at the merry I end up Tom and Jerrys. I get to bed late and gee wise how I'm sleeping when on to my bed those darn kids they come leaping. They sit on my face and jump on my belly and I'm cavering all over like a bowl full of jelly. They screem, "Merry Christmas." My poor wife and me we stumble downstairs and she lights up the tree. My head is exploding, my mouth tastes like a pickle, I step on a skate and fall on a tricycle. Just before Christmas dinner, I relax to a point, then relatives start swarming all over the joint. corner the crowd by drinking about is so twe lve On Christmas I hug, and kiss my wife's mother the rest of the year. we don't speak to each other. After dinner my uncle Louie get awful srewie. Then all my wife's aunt and my wife's into a fight they're both family say relations Louie is they j ion right and my goffie in the fight. Back in the corner the radio is playing and over the racket Gabriel Heather is saying, "Peace on earth everybody and good V will toward men," and just at that moment someone slugs uncle Ben. They all run outside hupping so the neighbors will hear. Oh I'm so glad Merry Christmas comes just once a year. Oh I just go nuts at Christmas but I still have losts of fun. Just the same as you I enjoy it to, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE